Understanding and Support Strategies
As we adjust to the full swing of the school year, you might notice not just the expected hustle of new schedules but deeper emotional shifts in your child. Behavioural regression, where children temporarily revert to earlier stages of development, often emerges in response to changes or stressors. While this might seem concerning, it provides a valuable opportunity to understand and meet your child’s emotional needs more deeply.
Understanding Behavioural Regression
Behavioural regression can show up in various ways… your child might become more clingy, face challenges at bedtime, need you to tasks for them that they are capable of doing or display behaviours you thought they had outgrown.
These signs often indicate underlying anxieties or a need for reassurance during uncertain times.
The Impact of Change and Anxiety
Transitions, such as returning to school, stir a mix of emotions in children, ranging from excitement to nervousness. The change from a relaxed home environment to the structured school setting can be particularly challenging, leading to feelings that your child may not fully understand or express. This anxiety is often at the heart of behavioural regression, signalling a need for security and understanding.
How You Can Support Your Child
- Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings: Start by recognising and validating your child’s emotions. Letting them know you hear and see them in their worries by simply reporting to them what you are seeing them express. Using language that supports conversation like ‘Tell me if I am wrong but it looks like…’ or ‘I have seen that lately you have been… I am wondering if you are feeling…’ Letting them know that is okay to feel nervous or to miss the carefree days of holidays can be incredibly comforting. Feeling heard and understood opens the door for more opportunities to unpack what is going on for them.
- Maintain Consistent Routines: Keeping consistent routines provides a sense of predictability and safety amidst change. Aim to preserve regular bedtimes, mealtimes, and family activities, even during the busy school year. This stability can help alleviate anxiety and reassure your child of the constancy in their world.
- Encourage Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings about school and friendships. Ensure these conversations are free from judgment, showing that you’re there to listen and support, not jumping in and tell them how to solve their problems.
- Model Healthy Coping Strategies: Your child learns how to manage emotions by watching you. Share how you deal with transitions or stress and demonstrate coping strategies. Creating stories or sharing similar experiences that you have been through and how you navigated them are a great opportunity for learning and build connections.
- Promote Gradual Independence: While support is crucial, gradually encouraging independence can empower your child to manage their emotions. Creating space for them to talk through strategies they can use when feeling anxious, before bed, helps solidify new neural pathways and gives them confidence in preparing and having a sense of control for the following day.
- Consult Professionals When Necessary: If regression significantly impacts your family life or persists, seeking advice from a professional who can offer tailored support for your child’s emotional well being.
The Bigger Picture
Behavioural regression is not a step backward but a natural coping mechanism, signaling a time when your child felt more secure. Understanding this allows you to respond with empathy and support.
Creating a Nurturing Environment
Aim to create an environment where your child feels secure enough to progress, knowing they have a safe base to return to in their connection with you. This involves comforting them, encouraging expression, and fostering independence.
Navigating your child’s behavioural regression with patience, empathy, and informed strategies not only helps them through current challenges but also builds a foundation for resilience and emotional intelligence.
Remember, the essence of parenting is not about perfection but fostering connections that support your child’s journey to becoming a confident, self aware individual.